Tag Archives: Why I’m Single

Horse_ebooks OkCupid Tumblr Reminds Me Why I’m Single

16 Feb

Online dating sites are stuffed with creepers, assholes, perverts and the like. Online dating is weird and disheartening, but it is great for a laugh.

Enter OKC_ebooks. A funny and pathetic look at revolting men on OkCupid. Seriously, this site is great.

horseebooks okcupid dating

A guy named Sam Kriss created a fake female OkCupid profile using a photo of an attractive girl. Like any female with two legs and two arms, the dating profile is bombarded with bizarre and perverse messages. But, this “girl” only responds to messages with quotes from the spam Twitter account @horse_ebooks. (The spammy account was made to tout shitty e-books, but avoids Twitter’s spam detection by sending out peculiar tweets that make absolutely no sense. And they are hilarious).

The @horse_ebooks quotes don’t deter the male daters. Psychotic-sounding or not, to these guys a bat-shit crazy vagina is still a vagina.

Although they aren’t talking to a real girl, do these men really think their tactics work? Are they total morons?

horseebooks okcupid

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Why You Aren’t Getting a Third Date

3 Feb

Why you’re not getting a 3rd date

third-date-rule

1. Our first date consisted of a 30 minute lunch. A lunch date isn’t bad idea, particularly for a first date. Lunch dates enable both parties to make a quick assessment without the risk of enduring a prolonged dinner. Otherwise known as, do you look like your pictures or not?

2. Our second date consisted of a movie – and soda or popcorn weren’t offered. We met for the movie and conversed for a total of 10 minutes over the course of the date. Essentially, the total time we spent talking was about 40 minutes over two dates.

3. For the 3rd date, you suggest that I come to your place and watch the new episodes of Shameless. Are you fucking kidding me? For the record, I’ve already seen them. Then you asked a few more times if I wanted to come over.  There was never any, “Maybe we can grab dinner or a drink this week.” Just, “Let me know if you ever wanna stop by.”

And that my dear, is why there will be no third date.

Seriously, this might be the lamest way a man has ever tried to cash in on the “third date rule.”

Talk about shameless.

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