Tag Archives: Valentines Day

Fuck You Valentine’s Day – I Hate Dating

14 Feb

I’m 31, single and a dating blogger…. And I totally forgot Valentine’s Day was this week. Between work, dating, starting a book and my new-found addiction to the Walking Dead series (I’m always late to the party….) I had no idea it was almost here.

I’ve been so distracted that Valentine’s Day could’ve passed and I’d have been none the wiser. Readers of my dating blog would’ve missed out on an obligatory angst-ridden “I Hate Valentine’s Day” post had it not been for a certain guy in my life. He’s pretty… swell.

My ignorance was bliss. Until Monday night.

I hate valentines day

Even though I said no more dating lawyers, I continue to do so. They find me. I continue to give them chances. It never works out. Mostly because they fail to maintain a decent façade and I realize they’re a total asshole after a few dates. (Definition of insanity, I get it.)

I was set to embark on date #5 with this lawyer. I’ve been hesitant about him because his actions (out late every single night, has multiple ‘guys nights’ every week….) don’t say “I want to settle down.” He’s divorced, so it seems like he’s determined to make up for lost time. However, I genuinely enjoyed his company and our personalities mesh, so I wanted to be certain before I regrettably cast him out of the rotation (also known as – move on because in a week or two he’ll be onto the next big thing)

Last weekend we made plans for this Thursday (HE picked the day). Neither of us aware that it was Valentine’s Day.

valentines day fuck off

Monday night I receive a text from him around 1am (I’m a slight insomniac). The text read “Good night.” I was up watching Walking Dead on Netflix so I politely answered, “Good night to you too.” I thought he was just making a nice gesture. The rest goes as followed:

Lawyer: We are going out on vday….

Me: That’s funny. I totally didn’t realize it was Valentines Day.
(100 percent true – I actually wanted to spend Valentines Day with my best friend because that would’ve been fun and not subject to unnecessary awkwardness)

Lawyer:  Ok. So here’s how I see it. Neither of us knew. So let’s not infer anything. But let’s also not infer that either of us are being dicks.

Me:  Why would either of us be a dick?

Lawyer: I don’t know….

Lawyer:  Damn. I hate dating.

Me:  Considering Valentines Day wasn’t even on my radar, I don’t believe either of us inferred anything.

Lawyer:  Good. I’ll still plan a nice night.

Gee, thanks. Is it wrong to feel insulted? I did.

I wouldn’t have inferred anything because we’re still getting to know each other. The notion that he felt compelled to send that text and couldn’t just leave well enough alone lets me infer a few things…

And he’s the one who hates dating? But it gets better.

I was debating whether or not to cancel, but he made the decision for me on Wednesday (the day before Valentines Day).  He claimed he’s bogged down with work and we need to reschedule.I promise you, he’s not ‘working late.’

Hey asshole – you just left me hanging on Valentine’s Day. Well, now I definitely ‘infer’ something – you’re an ass.

In other news, according to Jezebel.com my vagina is worth $257 on Valentine’s Day. The price is based on the level of commitment and a single vagina is worth the most. If you’re a single woman on Valentine’s Day, your date should fork over $257 to get laid. Committed vaginas must settle for $180. I’m not making this shit up. I guess that means as far as Valentine’s Day is concerned, my vagina is worthless.

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