Tag Archives: Stop Using LOL

A Bit of Dating Advice: Stop Using LOL. Really, Just Stop.

27 Jan

If you use “LOL” in a non-ironic fashion, I can’t date you.

It’s staggering how many men over 30 pepper their online dating profiles, emails and texts with “LOL” or “LMAO,” etc. Not only are they using outdated text message lingo designed for teenagers, they aren’t even using it properly!

LOL guy

Stop saying LOL

Note the following examples from Match.com profiles/messages:

“I hope you enjoy romance, wit, and drinking good beer lol.”
“How’s your weekend been? Mine’s been lazy. LOL.”
“I believe everyone has a soul mate. I hope to find her soon lol.”
“Willing to say we met in a grocery store lmao.”
“Sometimes I enjoy relaxing with a good movie lol lame.”

Quick refresher – LOL is short for laugh out loud. It’s not the latest punctuation mark. You don’t just pop it into the end of random sentences.

None of the phrases above even warrant a “LOL.” Why is it so funny that you hope to find your soul mate? Does having a lazy weekend literally cause you to crack up uncontrollably? If thinking about relaxing with a good movie or downing craft beer is forcing you to erupt in hysterical laughter, I can only assume you’re either high on drugs, mentally slow or fucked up in the head.

“LOL” use is NEVER casual. LOLers can’t contain themselves. Once “LOL” rears its ugly head, you can be damned sure millions more will follow. Tell someone you had a busy day and can’t wait to veg out under a blanket, you’ll be met with an “LOL.” Suggest a new restaurant for dinner and the likely response will be, “LMAO. Sounds great.”

Whoever said that it’s hard to get to know someone through text messaging was wrong. I can tell plenty about a person from the moment a “LOL” or “LMAO” appears on my phone screen.

Before text language became standard, I used to think “LOL” meant “loser online.” Seriously. It’s more fitting.

Anyways, if you’re over the age of 27, stop saying “LOL.” You sound like a dumb ass.

*Emoticons are tolerable with limited usage.

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