Tag Archives: fuck valentines day

Fuck You Valentine’s Day – I Hate Dating

14 Feb

I’m 31, single and a dating blogger…. And I totally forgot Valentine’s Day was this week. Between work, dating, starting a book and my new-found addiction to the Walking Dead series (I’m always late to the party….) I had no idea it was almost here.

I’ve been so distracted that Valentine’s Day could’ve passed and I’d have been none the wiser. Readers of my dating blog would’ve missed out on an obligatory angst-ridden “I Hate Valentine’s Day” post had it not been for a certain guy in my life. He’s pretty… swell.

My ignorance was bliss. Until Monday night.

I hate valentines day

Even though I said no more dating lawyers, I continue to do so. They find me. I continue to give them chances. It never works out. Mostly because they fail to maintain a decent façade and I realize they’re a total asshole after a few dates. (Definition of insanity, I get it.)

I was set to embark on date #5 with this lawyer. I’ve been hesitant about him because his actions (out late every single night, has multiple ‘guys nights’ every week….) don’t say “I want to settle down.” He’s divorced, so it seems like he’s determined to make up for lost time. However, I genuinely enjoyed his company and our personalities mesh, so I wanted to be certain before I regrettably cast him out of the rotation (also known as – move on because in a week or two he’ll be onto the next big thing)

Last weekend we made plans for this Thursday (HE picked the day). Neither of us aware that it was Valentine’s Day.

valentines day fuck off

Monday night I receive a text from him around 1am (I’m a slight insomniac). The text read “Good night.” I was up watching Walking Dead on Netflix so I politely answered, “Good night to you too.” I thought he was just making a nice gesture. The rest goes as followed:

Lawyer: We are going out on vday….

Me: That’s funny. I totally didn’t realize it was Valentines Day.
(100 percent true – I actually wanted to spend Valentines Day with my best friend because that would’ve been fun and not subject to unnecessary awkwardness)

Lawyer:  Ok. So here’s how I see it. Neither of us knew. So let’s not infer anything. But let’s also not infer that either of us are being dicks.

Me:  Why would either of us be a dick?

Lawyer: I don’t know….

Lawyer:  Damn. I hate dating.

Me:  Considering Valentines Day wasn’t even on my radar, I don’t believe either of us inferred anything.

Lawyer:  Good. I’ll still plan a nice night.

Gee, thanks. Is it wrong to feel insulted? I did.

I wouldn’t have inferred anything because we’re still getting to know each other. The notion that he felt compelled to send that text and couldn’t just leave well enough alone lets me infer a few things…

And he’s the one who hates dating? But it gets better.

I was debating whether or not to cancel, but he made the decision for me on Wednesday (the day before Valentines Day).  He claimed he’s bogged down with work and we need to reschedule.I promise you, he’s not ‘working late.’

Hey asshole – you just left me hanging on Valentine’s Day. Well, now I definitely ‘infer’ something – you’re an ass.

In other news, according to Jezebel.com my vagina is worth $257 on Valentine’s Day. The price is based on the level of commitment and a single vagina is worth the most. If you’re a single woman on Valentine’s Day, your date should fork over $257 to get laid. Committed vaginas must settle for $180. I’m not making this shit up. I guess that means as far as Valentine’s Day is concerned, my vagina is worthless.

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Thirty and single on Valentine’s Day? What NOT to do

7 Feb

Single on Valentine’s Day? I’m not this year, but I still loathe the holiday. I’ve spent the bulk of my life being single on Valentine’s Day, so all those fucking cupids, teddy bears and sappy commercials make me cringe. My time as a single woman won’t let me forget how it feels to spend Valentine’s Day alone. Valentine’s Day is a holiday that serves as a slap in the face to nearly 50 percent of the U.S. population. That’s right – half of Americans are single, but the heavy marketing power of Valentine’s Day doesn’t want you to know. Nope – the goal of Valentine’s Day is to make you feel really, really shitty if you don’t have a significant other to spend it with. After all, you are not partaking in their marketing ploy. V-Day tricks you into feeling like a pathetic loser because you’re choosing to ride solo. Valentine’s Day is a mean mother fucker.

fuck valentines day i hate valentines day

Fuck Valentine's Day

You can’t ignore Valentine’s Day. It won’t let you. So, many articles offer tips on what to do if you’re single on Valentine’s Day. Like it’s the end of the world or something. These “helpful” tips will probably make you feel a whole lot shittier. Here are some really bad Valentine’s Day ideas “dating experts” think you could implement to combat the single on Valentine’s Day blues. Don’t do them.

1. Take yourself to the movies.
2. Turn up the music and dance around the house.
3. Stay on the couch and watch your favorite chick flicks.
4. Wear lingerie to bed just for you. (What is the point?)
5. Flirt with an old boyfriend on Facebook.
6. Think about what you want in your next relationship.
7. Light candles and take a long, soothing bath.
8. Dress to the nines and go to the grocery store. (This is my favorite!)
9. Redecorate your bedroom.
10. If you’re recently single, change your Facebook status to single. (Well, that sounds like a blast.)
11. Go to a sporting event alone and cheer.
12. Sleep on the “other” side of the bed.
13. Volunteer. (Well, maybe seeing folks at a soup kitchen will make you feel better about your own life)
14. Talk to couples and seek out the true meaning of Valentine’s Day.
15. Eat chocolate. (Then what?)
16. Plan to start therapy. (I can’t make this shit up!)

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