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Cleveland Dating Got the Best of Me

16 Jul

Warning: This is one of those rare, vulnerable posts that rarely emerge. But since the whole point of a dating blog is to share the ups and downs of dating – I figured I’d be honest and let my guard down for a moment.

They say breaking up is hard to do. And it is – especially when you get to do it over and over and over.

I think I usually put up a pretty good fight when it comes to dealing with my seemingly cursed dating life. I manage the lying, the betrayal, the cheating and the continuous disappearing acts the only way I know how – with sarcasm and derision.

I’ve been single for quite some time, but I can honestly say that this past year (starting from last July) has been the hardest and meanest I’ve ever encountered when it comes to dating and relationships. It’s been one relentless blow after another, and it finally knocked me on my ass like never before. I consider myself a fairly strong person, but in all honesty, I often wonder how much more I can take. Lately, dating in Cleveland is causing me to loathe humanity. And I don’t want to feel this way.

Placing your trust in someone, sharing a bed with them, indulging in lazy mornings under the covers, opening up and divulging some of your intimate secrets with the hopes of growing closer – only to have that person suddenly turn around and betray you (and simultaneously throw your secrets and fears back in your face for ultimate impact). I don’t care who you are – if you have a few shreds of emotion, it’s bound to wear on you.

Despite everything, I realize that all men aren’t as vile and heartless as the ones who have played a part in my life this past year. There are decent people out there. What I don’t know is how I continue to be mixed up with the rotten ones. I’ll admit that my lousy choices are partially to blame, but that doesn’t excuse their callous and abhorrent behavior. In my defense, things always seem so perfect in the beginning.

I’m not down because I loved and lost. I wasn’t in love with anyone this past year. Of course, I wanted to fall in love, but they didn’t exactly make it easy. I’m disheartened because I can’t fathom how people can treat others as if they’re completely disposable and replaceable. Online dating has made it easier than ever.

I took some time off dating. I moved to a new place. I wallowed in self-pity for a bit. I spent time with friends and family and tried to make peace with the disappointment. I recently went on a few dates with a guy I met a few months back, but he seemed to care more about getting laid then getting to know me. Story of my life.

For the past two weeks my parents have been asking when I was going to begin dating again. I kept insisting I wasn’t ready. (I think they just want grandkids, like really bad)

But I can’t continue to sit here, feel sorry for myself and dwell on my contempt for the shitty Cleveland dating scene. I haven’t felt like “me” lately and that’s because the art of basking in my breakups and romantic letdowns isn’t “me.” Hell, if I want to torture myself I figure I may as well do it during a nice dinner out.

I don’t want to date again, but it’s time. I’m not ready to date, but I’m definitely not prepared to give up. I deserve to have a kind-hearted and caring man in my life and I’ll be damned if I’m going to let a few callous pieces of shit put any damper in my chance at finding happily ever after. Still, I think it’s safe to say that I’ll be treading a little more carefully this time around.

And that list of dating rules I developed a few months back (especially since they pertain to the infamous third date rule) – those remain since they will help me keep my sanity.

Dating after thirty is really fucking hard. Geez.

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Leveraging an Online Dating Success Story. Maybe. Sort Of.

4 Apr

Welcome to another installment of Stupid Shit Guys Do to (Hopefully) Get Sex

My recent date may have looked like Patrick Dempsey, but Mr. McDreamy he was not.

McDreamy Not

Return to Dating 101 – if a man repeatedly claims to to be a “hopeless romantic,” he’s not. McNotDreamy never missed an opportunity to inform me about his romantic tendencies.  According to him, he’s an “old-fashioned romantic” type of guy.  I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s thoroughly expressed on his online dating profile. (Ladies – if you see this in a profile. Never get your hopes up.)

I can repeatedly tell you that I’m Kim Kardashian. It doesn’t make it true.

Despite a lack of wine and roses, McNotDreamy had a riveting story that he liked to recount (over and over again)…. Once upon a time he knew a guy who recently encountered a bout of good dating luck on Match.com.

texts from match2

On top of excessively communicating his supposed romantic tendencies, NotMcDreamy really enjoyed repeating a story about his friend who recently found the woman of his dreams on Match.com. So much, that his buddy’s tale of online dating love came up in nearly every conversation. Whether it was via text, phone call or during dinner, he never failed to mention the fact that his friend fell in love with a girl from Match.com. Sometimes an “I can only hope to be so lucky” was added for good measure. The more he told the story, the more I got the feeling something was off.

text from match1

Take the online dating success story and combine it with the absence of romantic tendencies. Toss in his claim to be a huge dog lover with his refusal to pet or even acknowledge my dog… and it equals bull shit. Creative, yet ineffective bull shit.

I firmly believe he deserves a few points for originality. This is the first man who tried to crank up the charm with a non-stop reiteration of a friend’s online dating love story.

texts from match3

On the fourth (and final) date, McNotDreamy sat beside me on the couch and proceeded to text other women. He deliberately tilted the phone so I couldn’t see the screen when he’d receive the messages. Because that wasn’t obvious or anything… (And I could still see!)

Of course, the multiple females blowing up his phone didn’t stop him from trying to hump me.

I, on the other hand, did.

Single After Thirty: 15 Reasons it’s Not Totally Terrible

26 Mar

Single after 30? The internet is flooded with instructions to embrace your single status, how to love yourself and shitty advice imploring you to change your ways – or else. Fuck ‘em.

stupid mom quotes

Not funny. At all. Period.

Being single in your twenties was fun. Then, one day you wake up and realize everyone got hitched. The drunk party photos that once clogged your Facebook feed have been replaced by copious amounts of ultrasound pics and shares of “parenting humor” images.

You feel out of the loop. And you probably are. But that’s okay. Being single after 30  doesn’t mean you’re a social degenerate. I mean, have you seen some of the people who get married?! Some are certifiably crazy. Others are downright repulsive. But… they got lucky. And.. you haven’t been lucky yet. On that note, here’s a few reasons I found to quit bemoaning your single status (and mine too).

15 Reasons to Not Hate Being Single After Thirty

1. Can go out with my guy friends whenever. Plus, I can vacation with my guy friends. No questions asked.
2. Lounging on the sofa in my stained & tattered sweatpants, no bra and my hair in one giant knot – for as long as I choose.
3. Not required to shave every day. And never having to shave another’s back hair.
4. My friends are more fun. Plus, I don’t feel obligated to invite my guy along and try to fill him in on the inside jokes we’ve had for over 10 years.
5. I don’t have to attempt to hide the existence of this dating blog.
6. No boyfriend begging for a blow job when I’m on the heaviest day of my period.
7. I like hanging out with myself.
8. Not being woken up each time my guy gets out of bed to take a piss, drink water, etc. No worrying whether or not I was snoring. No snoring keeping me up.
9. Dating is providing plethora of writing material. More than I could have ever fathomed.
10. I’m not forced to listen to anyone else’s shitty music choices. (Seriously, how can the Goo Goo Dolls be your favorite band?)
11. Not sharing the couch. And not having to watch sports updates while sharing the couch.
12. No arguing over the thermostat setting.
13. No one tying up the bathroom taking a 30 minute shit when I need to do my hair, brush my teeth, etc.
14. Opportunity. Being single leaves you open to ANYTHING. You have the freedom to do whatever without the tether of another. Whether its traveling abroad, moving to LA to pursue a writing career or taking up sky-diving – you can do it. Besides, you never know when you’ll meet ‘the one.’ Better to be single when that happens than trapped in a sub-par relationship.
15. You’ve experienced a ton – so when the time comes to settle down you’ll be ready. Especially if you’ve dabbled in online dating – then you’ll REALLY be ready.

Curb Your Enthusiasm Dating Quote

Sure, I’d love to stumble upon a great guy, fall in love & share a life together. I can’t force it. I can only hope I’m fortunate enough to meet someone and live out the whole “happily ever after” ending. Until then – life as a thirty-something single isn’t too horrible. Besides, the grass is always greener on the other side.. until you get there.

Close Encounters of the Online Dating Kind

24 Mar

I’m having dinner with this guy – third date – and out of nowhere he asks, “Do you believe in aliens?”

I thought he was joking and was simply asking it to see if I was gullible or crazy (Anne Heche style). My answer, “I have trouble believing in anything that I haven’t seen, but considering that the universe is rather big… I guess no one can say for sure. Why? Do you?”

“Yes. I’ve seen them.” The conversation turned unnecessarily serious.

“What? Like you were abducted and anal probed?”

“No. But I’ve seen aliens twice.”

He proceeded to tell a story about spotting an extra-terrestrial being in a parked car. Apparently, Mr. Alien was chilling in the backseat, staring at him and wiggling one of his long, extra-terrestrial fingers in a come-hither motion. The other tale involved UFO’s hovering over his home.

What the fuck Match.com?

Are you fucking kidding me?

The worst part – this guy stopped returning my calls. (Third date rule strikes again?)

Alien fingers

Once upon a time, my old college roommate dated this guy who creeped everyone out. Turns out he was a paranoid schizophrenic. On top of believing that government agents broke into his apartment and injected him with the HIV virus and that his Buddha statue came to life after midnight….. he also reported to have close encounters with aliens. He was eventually forced into a mental hospital. He probably still resides there today.

Sex on the Third Date Rule: Time to Buck This Dating Trend

12 Mar

The third date rule – Is sex on the

third date expected?

(Yes. Fairly often. Seems to be the norm.)

If you use an online dating site, odds are that both you and your significant other from the site are dating multiple people. I’m certain the men I’m seeing are dating other women. It’s never been explicitly stated, but it would be naive to think otherwise. This is the reality of online dating.

This makes for lots of third dates. And tons of potential hook-ups.

Third-date-rule

It’s the third date….

I’ve never felt pressured to concede to the third date rule. Admittedly, I’ve had my share of alcohol-infused evenings that ended in bed (sooner than we should have), but sex on the third date never felt obligatory in my book. Some men have thought otherwise.

Sex doesn’t require a timeline. When things are right – they are right. The thing is, I no longer feel right sleeping with a man who is simultaneously dating other women (and possibly having sex with them).

Have I done it? Of course. More than I should. Sometimes I couldn’t help it (damn rum and rebound sex). Other times I’d try to convince myself that maybe he’s only sleeping with me (this was true at times). Or, I’d momentarily let my brain believe that our relationship could progress and become exclusive (even though I knew otherwise).

So, we sleep together and I pretend to ignore the texts from other women that he is trying to keep under wraps while at dinner. I don’t dare ask what’s happening on his “busy nights,” because I don’t want the real answer. And… we continue to sleep together. Some nights, he’ll send a “good night” text. Other nights he doesn’t return mine, probably because he isn’t alone. And… we continue to sleep together. Eventually we break up.

I’m over it.

No sex on the third date

I want a relationship (I’ve tried to convince myself otherwise, but it’s not happening). Casual sex isn’t fun anymore. Wanting to sleep with a man who is exclusively sleeping with me? This is NOT too much to ask. I’m not requesting his hand in marriage. I just want him to keep his penis out of other women’s vaginas if its currently being inserted into mine.

Match.com and other sites have transformed dating into an all-you-can hook-up buffet. Since buffets are a chock full of mold, bacteria and foul diseases, I prefer  that my future partner and I play it safe and stick to one item from the menu at a time.

online dating is a endless buffet of possible sex

On that note, I’ve decided that it’s time to buck this sex on the third date trend all together.

Summer’s New Sex & Dating Rules

1. No sex on or before the third date
2. No sex if I know the man is dating (or sleeping with) other women
3. No sex if I think the man is dating (or sleeping with) other women
4. If I don’t see a future with the man and he is seriously attractive, rules 1-3 need not apply (if it’s good for the goose…). Hey, I deserve an “out” if faced with an extended dry spell.

Simply stated – If you’re sleeping with me, I’d better be the only one you’re sleeping with. I don’t expect a man to profess his undying love for me. I don’t even need a “girlfriend” title, but I do require that he refrain from inserting his tongue or penis into a different vagina on nights spent apart.

On a side note, I’m preparing to be dumped A LOT over my new dating rules. More than usual. Considering the “lovely” men I’ve encountered lately, there’s a good chance that my new sex and dating rules will render me not fourth-dateable. And that’s okay.

Let’s see how this goes.

My Netflix Queue of Shame

16 Feb

Fuck the eyes. If you want a true window to someone’s soul, just peek at their Netflix Instant Queue.

i think we're alone now documentary

Netflix subscribers face a harsh challenge of combing through a paltry list of “B” movies, old TV shows (most were cancelled for a reason) and bizarre documentaries to find something that won’t make them a) fall asleep, b) cringe or c) masturbate to porn for the third time that day.

family ties tv show

“I really miss watching Family Ties” says no one ever.

Subscribing to Netflix is like joining an online dating site. Upon signing up for eHarmony, Match.com or OkCupid, your head is spinning with the promise of unlimited possibilities. Once you’ve paid and start browsing, reality sets in. You longed for classics like “Forest Gump,” “Shawshank Redeption,” or “Casablanca,” but instead you got “Extreme Couponing Season 1,” “Bridezillas,” “Home Alone 3,” “Nacho Libre,” “Family Ties,” and fifty documentaries about organic food.

Since Netflix subscribers fill their instant queues with the best of the worst – the results can be hilarious …and telling.

I often forget the extreme awfulness that is my Netflix Instant Queue. That is, until there’s a guy at my place and I suggest we find a movie on Netflix. I flip on Netflix Instant and immediately realize the damage I’ve done. The expression on my date’s face is usually a mix of disgust, worry and trying to abstain from laughing at me.

Here’s a brief list of what lurks in my Netflix queue. What does it say about me? Feel free to draw your own conclusions. But if yours is anything like mine, it’s better to keep it under wraps.

My Netflix Queue of Shame

american-horror-story-tvArrested Development
Breaking Bad
The Walking Dead
Dawson’s Creek
American Horror Story
Twin Peaks
Melrose Place

Strange Sex
After Porn Ends
Science of Sex Appeal
The Wild and Wonderful Whites of West Virginia
I Think We’re Alone Now
Winnebago Man
Commune
Confessions of a Superhero
I’m a Cyborg, But That’s OK
i'm a cyborg movie
Lord, Save Us From Your Followers
Dirty Money: The Business of High End Prostitution
Price of Pleasure
A Complete History of My Sexual Failures
Solitary Confinement
Grizzly Man
Gasland
Infested
Hippie Masala
Science of Dogs

Dawsons-creek-tv

Harold and Maude
Midnight Cowboy
Drugstore Cowboy
Blue Valentine
The Human Centipede 1 & 2

human centipede
Planes Trains & Automobiles
Pumpkin
Momento
Rosemary’s Baby
Adaption
Young Adult
Bruno
The Hours

Sasha Baron Cohen

Fuck You Valentine’s Day – I Hate Dating

14 Feb

I’m 31, single and a dating blogger…. And I totally forgot Valentine’s Day was this week. Between work, dating, starting a book and my new-found addiction to the Walking Dead series (I’m always late to the party….) I had no idea it was almost here.

I’ve been so distracted that Valentine’s Day could’ve passed and I’d have been none the wiser. Readers of my dating blog would’ve missed out on an obligatory angst-ridden “I Hate Valentine’s Day” post had it not been for a certain guy in my life. He’s pretty… swell.

My ignorance was bliss. Until Monday night.

I hate valentines day

Even though I said no more dating lawyers, I continue to do so. They find me. I continue to give them chances. It never works out. Mostly because they fail to maintain a decent façade and I realize they’re a total asshole after a few dates. (Definition of insanity, I get it.)

I was set to embark on date #5 with this lawyer. I’ve been hesitant about him because his actions (out late every single night, has multiple ‘guys nights’ every week….) don’t say “I want to settle down.” He’s divorced, so it seems like he’s determined to make up for lost time. However, I genuinely enjoyed his company and our personalities mesh, so I wanted to be certain before I regrettably cast him out of the rotation (also known as – move on because in a week or two he’ll be onto the next big thing)

Last weekend we made plans for this Thursday (HE picked the day). Neither of us aware that it was Valentine’s Day.

valentines day fuck off

Monday night I receive a text from him around 1am (I’m a slight insomniac). The text read “Good night.” I was up watching Walking Dead on Netflix so I politely answered, “Good night to you too.” I thought he was just making a nice gesture. The rest goes as followed:

Lawyer: We are going out on vday….

Me: That’s funny. I totally didn’t realize it was Valentines Day.
(100 percent true – I actually wanted to spend Valentines Day with my best friend because that would’ve been fun and not subject to unnecessary awkwardness)

Lawyer:  Ok. So here’s how I see it. Neither of us knew. So let’s not infer anything. But let’s also not infer that either of us are being dicks.

Me:  Why would either of us be a dick?

Lawyer: I don’t know….

Lawyer:  Damn. I hate dating.

Me:  Considering Valentines Day wasn’t even on my radar, I don’t believe either of us inferred anything.

Lawyer:  Good. I’ll still plan a nice night.

Gee, thanks. Is it wrong to feel insulted? I did.

I wouldn’t have inferred anything because we’re still getting to know each other. The notion that he felt compelled to send that text and couldn’t just leave well enough alone lets me infer a few things…

And he’s the one who hates dating? But it gets better.

I was debating whether or not to cancel, but he made the decision for me on Wednesday (the day before Valentines Day).  He claimed he’s bogged down with work and we need to reschedule.I promise you, he’s not ‘working late.’

Hey asshole – you just left me hanging on Valentine’s Day. Well, now I definitely ‘infer’ something – you’re an ass.

In other news, according to Jezebel.com my vagina is worth $257 on Valentine’s Day. The price is based on the level of commitment and a single vagina is worth the most. If you’re a single woman on Valentine’s Day, your date should fork over $257 to get laid. Committed vaginas must settle for $180. I’m not making this shit up. I guess that means as far as Valentine’s Day is concerned, my vagina is worthless.

Dating a Cheap Man: Number One Cause of Vaginal Dryness

11 Feb

“Tell me more about the money you saved by not eating in restaurants. It’s really getting me hot,” SAID NO WOMAN EVER.

Seriously guys – don’t be cheap. Before you ask a woman on a date, loosen that death grip on your wallet and PLEASE, PLEASE don’t brag about your frugal lifestyle. Believe me, we are not impressed.

So… I went on a date with this Match.com guy, let’s just call him El Cheapo (it’s more fitting than anything else). Allow me to preface this story by telling you that El Cheapo is a medical device sales rep who makes close to six-figures. Cheap has nothing to do with income level and everything to do with a fatal personality flaw. Cheap = undateable. Cheap boyfriend

El Cheapo called the night before and suggested we meet at the Greenhouse Tavern. For any non-Clevelanders reading this, the Greenhouse Tavern is one of the top restaurants in Cleveland. You can’t NOT eat at Greenhouse Tavern. Well, unless you’re El Cheapo. I don’t think he was planning on dinner.

If he just wanted to meet for a drink, he could’ve suggested more bar and less restaurant. Selecting one of the best restaurants in Cleveland and expecting me to sit there and watch everyone else chow down is cruel and unusual punishment. I wasn’t having it, so I took the reins and insisted we get a table because I was hungry.

He tried to change his tune, “Wow. I’m kind of relieved that you’re hungry. I just planned to sit at the bar. But we can eat.”

Damn right we’re eating. I tried to give him the benefit of the doubt. Maybe he wasn’t cheap. Maybe the cheap vibe he was exuding was totally my head. It wasn’t.

On top of suggesting that I get the cheapest entrée on the menu (burger), El Cheapo spent a hefty chunk of time discussing his finances and his rapidly growing bank account. And let me tell you, he’s very proud of his bloated savings account. He told me that more than once.

cheap ass

Does this turn you on?

“I’m the most frugal guy I know,” he boasted. “Every month I set a budget for how much I can spend on entertainment. If I go over my budget, I have to lay low the next month.” He continued to brag about his fiscally conservative ways and how he managed to teach his sisters to cut corners and they now save an additional $500 per month.

Oh, he also told a riveting story involving a bad date at a wine festival. I’m not sure what else happened on his ‘bad date story,’ but I do know that the tickets cost $50 each. He mentioned that like ten times.

When I first laid eyes on El Cheapo, I wondered why he was single. The man is extremely tall, attractive, and intelligent with a good job. But wow, he’s a miserly fellow! Financial responsibility is good, but when penny-pinching dominates a first date conversation – there’s a huge problem.

El Cheapo doesn’t have his own place at 35. He lives with his cousin in a 2 bedroom apartment (not even a house) because it “saves so much money.”

Surprisingly El Cheapo willingly paid for dinner. (Note: I purposely didn’t select an expensive entrée and ordered only one drink, so it wasn’t an expensive tab. I didn’t want it to be. I was turned off and just wanted to leave.)

Our date occurred on a 20-degree night with wicked wind gusts. The sidewalks were covered by a lovely sheet of ice and where does he park? Over by West 6th somewhere because he didn’t want to pay higher rates due to the Cavs game. I paid $10 bucks to park a block away – which is nothing. How much money could he have possibly saved?? A broken leg due to falling on ice during his long trek back could cost him much more.

Frugal menGuys, you need not be rich. Just don’t be so prudent with your cash that it’s impractical. Thriftiness does not get our juices flowing. El Cheapo was incredibly attractive, yet I’ve never been so turned off.

He asked me on a second date, but I must decline. I don’t care to hear anymore about his adventures in frugality. (Seriously, what guy brags about his cheapness on a first date?)

Dating in the 1980’s

22 Jan

Ever wonder what dating was like in the 1980’s? Me neither. But if you’ve pondered the dating disasters of those singles before us, this 80’s Video Dating Montage paints a pretty clear picture.

Women in the 80’s enjoyed the same creep-factor that one would expect to find on Match.com or eHarmony today. Only these winners sported insanely high waistbands, revolting mustaches and random viking costumes.

Dating hasn’t changed much in the past 30 years. Same freaks, different decade.

“I’m looking for the goddess. Are you the goddess? Who’s the goddess?”
“Life is a playground and I want someone to play with.”

One man likes bright socks and is an avid Cleveland Browns fan. Wonder if he’s still in town and available? Nah.. he would’ve already contacted me on Match.com.

The End of Courtship – Are We Really Done With Dating?

15 Jan

Are we really done with dating?

Is the new style of dating “one step below a date, and one step above a high-five?” According to a New York Times article entitled “The End of Courtship,” dating as we know it is essentially over.

The writer opines, “Dinner at a romantic new bistro? Forget it. Women in their 20s these days are lucky to get a last-minute text to tag along. Raised in the age of so-called “hookup culture,” millennials — who are reaching an age where they are starting to think about settling down — are subverting the rules of courtship.”

couple on dinner date

Date.

Are we? When did dating turn into just ‘hanging-out?’ Didn’t we do this shit in high school?

Ladies – are we really satisfied to settle for a can of Bud Light and a quasi-drunken hook up in lieu of a nice dinner, bottle of wine and good conversation that enables both parties to get to know one another better? I always thought cheap watered down beer and drunken sex should be saved for the actual relationship. This way, when you wake up with the massive shits (from the crappy beer) and a sticky condom plastered on your back it’s not nearly as mortifying.

While it seems to be shifting to more of a hook-up culture, it isn’t hopeless. I’m 31 and most of the men I date are between 28-35. Personally, I haven’t encountered much of these “hanging-out” type dates. Most men (in-person or online) still ask a woman out and take her to dinner. The ones who ask me to meet them and their buddies out at a bar for our first meeting? I decline.

Of course, there’s nothing wrong with keeping it casual and kicking back with a pizza and movie on the couch, but this ‘hanging-out’ stuff should follow a few dates. A little effort is appreciated…. and I don’t think I’m alone in this. If a man doesn’t bother to woo in the beginning, odds are he never will. Note: wooing need not require lots of cash. Believe me guys, stopping at Giant Eagle (insert the name of your local grocery store) and picking up a cheap bouquet of carnations goes a LONG way.

drunk men

Not a date.

Dating IS evolving – more sex & less commitment. But why? How did women go from getting wined and dined to pumped and dumped?

Two theories:

1. Women outnumber men on college campuses. During college, hooking up is easier than finding a pack of ramen noodles. For everyone that won’t, there’s probably one next to them that will. Minimal effort is required. People become used to this hook-up style of dating and carry it with them into their late 20’s and 30’s… and beyond.

2. Online dating has made it TOO easy to get laid. It’s like a virtual smorgasbord of sex. Online dating has it’s pros, but it doesn’t come without cons. Our dating pool is huge compared to what it used to be (wow, that’s sad). Both sexes engage in more of a “speed-dating” type of deal and often juggle multiple people at a time. We have options – and lots of them. Sure, there are plenty of men and women using online dating sites to find actual relationships. However, for every person that hopes to find “the one,” there’s likely two more looking for casual hook-ups.

Do I think it’s the end of courtship? No. I think it’s a matter of finding what works for you. If you’re well out of college and a first date involving PBR, Jaeger shots and a hand job isn’t your idea of romance, keep dating and find someone who will give you what you need. There are men out there who won’t mind taking you on a real date. You have options – and plenty of them.

why buy the cow?

We’re back to the damn cow again.

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