Sex on the first date? Perhaps you should hold off…. Apparently there’s scientific proof that hopping into bed too soon leads to shittier relationships for unmarried folks.
The study looked at four examples of sex in unmarried relationships:
- Having sex prior to dating
- Initiating sex on the first date or shorty after
- Having sex after a few weeks of dating
- Sexual abstinence
Results suggested that waiting to have sex led to better relationships. Those who got it on early had less relationship satisfaction and stability. The question is – how early is too early? What’s the optimal time to wait for sex? Unfortunately, I can only access the article abstract, so I don’t have the scientifically proven answer.
Here is the abstract in its entirety:
“While recent studies have suggested that the timing of sexual initiation within a couple’s romantic relationship has important associations with later relationship success, few studies have examined how such timing is associated with relationship quality among unmarried couples. Using a sample of 10,932 individuals in unmarried, romantic relationships, we examined how four sexual-timing patterns (i.e., having sex prior to dating, initiating sex on the first date or shortly after, having sex after a few weeks of dating, and sexual abstinence) were associated with relationship satisfaction, stability, and communication in dating relationships. Results suggested that waiting to initiate sexual intimacy in unmarried relationships was generally associated with positive outcomes. This effect was strongly moderated by relationship length, with individuals who reported early sexual initiation reporting increasingly lower outcomes in relationships of longer than two years.”
My current boyfriend and I did the deed on our first date, and we’ve been happily dating for nearly a year.
- K.
I don’t see a problem with sex on the first date either. It depends on the people, what they want, etc.
However, it would be interesting to read the study.
Hi Summer, I remember seeing something on TV or reading it… it talked about hormones and bonding etc… the whole process seemed fascinating from a scientific point of view.
Or did they make it all up just to stop people from having fun??? LOL
Listen to Patti the Millionaire Match maker…….NO SEX until monogamy ! Two hour make out sessions when you are first dating are way hotter than jumping in bed right away. take it slowly unless they are a loser and do the deed but don’t call them in the morning.
I tend to agree with Ms. Patti. What is helpful is when the guy is compliant without complaining. I always want to say, “YES, I do want to have sex with you now, but NO, because I don’t have any idea how many other girls you are screwing!”
If I have a meaningless fling with a guy, no problem, let’s do it. If, on the other hand, I’m actually interested in someone, I try to hold out as long as possible without holding out TOO long. Six to eight dates and/or a declaration of monogamy (whichever comes first) is what I like to tell myself…whether or not it works out that way is a different story. So far, I’ve never made it 6 dates.
…actually, I don’t think I’ve made it past 4…
Indeed – Patti is usually spot on with her advice. If they are a loser, I don’t think I’ll be tempted to do the deed though. If I do, you’ll be the first to know… Love you BFF