LA Fitness and my ex-boyfriends who work out there

14 Nov

There’s at least 5 of them there.

Excuses for not frequenting the gym? I have a zillion. I have to force myself into that torture factory, watch the minutes tick by until I can get off the damn cardio machine and then sit on machines and repetitively count as I mindlessly lift weights. Combine that with my recent folliculitis outbreak (I blame Urban Active/LA Fitness entirely) and I can probably craft a unique excuse everyday for the next few years.

If I want to keep my weight down this winter, I have to return to those 3 floors of misery known as Urban Active… or maybe it’s LA Fitness now. What the hell is the Crocker Park gym now anyway?

Cleveland isn’t a small city, but it’s no Chicago or NYC either. It’s fairly easy to run into an ex while out and about, but I miraculously avoid these uncomfortable encounters most of the time. Considering my dating history, this is no small feat. (Note – I said “dated,” not slept with)

Not what I look like at the gym

Problem being, my gym is a relatively popular one on Cleveland’s West Side. Numerous men that I’ve dated frequent it on a regular basis. No joke, I can count at least 5 that I’m certain have a membership. And what worse place to run into my dumpers and dumpees than the gym? If I must engage in an awkward stop and chat with an ex, I’d at least like to do it when I know I look good. At the gym, I look like total shit.

In addition to the fact that I’m sweaty, stinky and grunting in an unattractive manner, I’m also struggling for breath after the first ten minutes of cardio. Half the time I can’t figure out how to use a machine and wind up looking like an asshole. Indeed, I’m a workout novice wearing no make-up, messy hair or a ball cap, and my boobs look dreadful in a sports bra (although I have started wearing semi-push up bras under my sports bra, which helps a ton). Why people suggest the gym is a great place to meet men is beyond me. I certainly don’t have the confidence to approach anyone while working out.
Paul Ryan at the gym

I’ve made it my goal to attend the gym on a somewhat regular basis this winter. I’m going to run into my ex boyfriends while looking slightly better than I do when I wake up in the morning. Yes, it will be awkward and it will suck. However, I guess running into ex boyfriends while looking mildly gross at the gym is preferable to running into them at a bar after gaining 20 pounds from avoiding the gym.

The joys of dating in Cleveland.

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8 Responses to “LA Fitness and my ex-boyfriends who work out there”

  1. snarkatussin November 15, 2012 at 8:37 am #

    I agree… who meets people at the gym?! I look homeless, bordering on hostile… couple that with the fact that I look like I’ll die at any moment and I really can’t see why the men don’t flock to me!

    I find setting goals for myself has helped maintain my gym grind. I ran a half over the summer and am thinking of signing up for a full marathon in Ohio, in June, so that I have the motivation to go the gym on the regular throughout the winter, instead of sitting on my couch eating like I’ve never seen food.

    • Summer November 15, 2012 at 8:49 pm #

      I need your motivation. Can I borrow some?
      For the record, I’ve never met anyone who has met anyone at the gym. Ever.

      • snarkatussin November 16, 2012 at 5:29 pm #

        Absolutely, you can borrow some. My current plan is to binge on Hostess snack cakes, by the box, so that I can overcome the sadness of their closing. When you eat a dozen SuzyQs a pop, you need to train for a race and exercise on the regular!

  2. Mel November 15, 2012 at 10:10 am #

    Hahah It’s Fitworks, isn’t it? I lived in Rocky River and HATED that location. It was exactly as you described: a pick-up palace for desperate losers. I even woke up at an ungodly hour (5am!) to work out in the morning in hopes of dissuading these pervs. But no, I’d be running for an HOUR — with my headphones on, mind you — and guys would just STAND THERE… waiting for me to finish on the treadmill so that they could talk to me. Some days, I’d seriously run longer until they’d leave. I hated that place so hard.

    • Summer November 15, 2012 at 8:49 pm #

      It’s the gym at Crocker Park… They made me switch to an LA Fitness card, but the sign and everything else inside still read Urban Active. Therefore, I have no clue what to call the damn place. I used to go to the Planet Fitness across from Fitworks in River – that was terrible. You can imagine the quality of men for a $10/mo gym membership. And of course, it’s never the ones you want that actually hit on you.

  3. N. Sizzle (@nidhizzle) November 15, 2012 at 4:27 pm #

    Agree completely! My friend and I were just talking about Cleveland’s terrible effect on love lives. EXES ARE EVERYWHERE. The worst.

    • Summer November 15, 2012 at 8:43 pm #

      They are easy to run into aren’t they? It’s always at the worst moments of course. Cleveland is terrible for love lives, but for some reason a few lucky ones manage to escape this fate. I am not one of them!

  4. Kelly November 17, 2012 at 9:35 am #

    It is the six degrees of Cleveland separation!! Seriously … not only does everyone know everyone — you run into them any and everywhere.

    ps. “fuck you gym” = best blog label. ever.

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