Psychopath Dating – Neil Diamond, Nerf Guns & Nudes

28 Jul

As you know, I have a habit of dating psychotic freak shows.

I planned to craft this dating blog post about my ex Sam, another Cleveland dating disaster, for quite some time. However, the tale is so disturbingly fucked up, yet funny, yet sad… I couldn’t fathom how to put this revolting mess into words. I still don’t kow. But here we go…

dating a psychopath, dating a sociopath American Psycho

I found the American Psycho on

Sam had all the signature traits of a psychopath. The first dating red flag that our relationship was doomed? A giant framed movie poster of “American Psycho” is the first thing I saw when I  entered his apartment. It’s in the main hallway next to the front door and impossible to miss. He was grossly infatuated with the film. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a great movie, but his fixation was a bit over the top.

American Psycho aside. I had been dating Sam for two months or so when the following incident occurred. I found out about it later on. I’m still disturbed… mostly because I didn’t dump him immediately.

Sam’s douchebag college buddies were in town for the 2011 holiday season. He had an insatiable urge to impress these guys, so he hired a prostitute to come over and entertain them. I mean, what better way to flaunt your success than with a seedy prostitute? Perhaps it was a stripper, but he used the term “prostitute” to describe her multiple times, so let’s go with prostitute.

Did they make her perform a strip tease? Have sex with them (not that I know of at least….)? Masturbate in front of them? No.

prostitute hooker

Sam bought these colossal Nerf guns for his nephews for Christmas. (Mind you, he bought these while on a shopping outing with me) Apparently, he wanted to give them a trial run on a prostitute. Sam ordered the prostitute to go into his room, undress and wait. He cued up “Coming to America” by Neil Diamond for her grand entrance.

Sam and his buddies proceeded to shoot her with Nerf guns to the tune of “Coming to America” on repeat. When they finished a round, she had to pick up the Nerf pellets and return them so they could continue their game.

I was floored. He seemed sincerely proud of himself for causing this woman total hNeil Diamond concertumiliation. Even as he fessed up, he was cracking up with laughter. It was sick. A strip club is one thing, but this?

One morning about a week later, I woke up to him listening to “Coming to America.” I wanted to vomit. I forced him to turn it off. I tried to write the prostitute ordeal off as no big deal, but I knew better. I couldn’t erase it from my mind. How can one person get off on the degradation of another? I still can’t listen to “Coming to America” without my stomach turning in complete disgust.

Thankfully, our “relationship” ended soon after.

My new relationship goal is simple – to not find a man whose inspiration stems from Christian Bale’s character in “American Psycho.”

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21 Responses to “Psychopath Dating – Neil Diamond, Nerf Guns & Nudes”

  1. spqr70 July 28, 2012 at 2:37 pm #

    Great movie and fascinating book however, disgusting moral constitution demonstrated by Mr. American “douche bag” Psycho Sam!

    Success does not manifest entitlement regardless of gender or race yet here is a perfect example of where money in the wrong hands will buy stupidity and then make change for intolerance. The fact that he was proud and looking for validation from you simply confirms all notion that he wasn’t and still probably isn’t ready for an emotional as well as physical relationship.

    Great blog summer…

    • Summer July 30, 2012 at 10:25 am #

      Thank you!
      He was proud of himself. Sickly proud… I’m not sure if he was looking for validation or just simply didn’t care if I was disturbed or hurt by the ordeal. This man was totally incapable of feeling empathy for anyone. I guess we know why he was on!

  2. Chris Sheridan July 28, 2012 at 9:39 pm #

    Yeah, I know… It’s not September yet, but I couldn’t resist reading this. And it just really makes me wonder if there is something in the water in the Cleveland area, that makes men as seriously effed up in the head as some of the guys you’ve described in your posts.

    Giant framed movie poster of “American Psycho” in his apartment is a very bad first sign – and then followed by him being infatuated with the film is even worse. I’m surprised you weren’t making a quick exit already, just from these factors alone.

    A bunch of college buddies repeatedly shooting a prostitute with Nerf guns is disgusting and pathetic, but also typically obnoxious college frat boy behavior, and it honestly doesn’t seem that unusual to me when considering the source. Which is why I hated frat boys when I was in college, cause I could tell you far worse stories about the things they did to women, and did to each other. I hated the frat boys, because I genuinely liked women, instead of just wanting to fuck them, and then fuck them over.

    BUT… what drives it right over the edge from a fucked up frat boy game to potential psychosis in action, is doing this while listening to Neil Diamond’s “Coming to America” on repeat. Now we’re spinning off into a real life version of a David Lynch movie starring Dennis Hopper at his most deranged, and I’m just glad that you got away from this disturbed sicko, and you’re still alive to write about it.

    Oh, and sorry for putting a “like” on this post – your writing is very good, and you definitely get the impact of your story across – but it’s not a story that I like at all; not with the guy you described as the main character,,,

    • Crystal W. (@EatDrinkClev) July 29, 2012 at 7:00 pm #

      Super creepy! And what a complete ass hole! It does sound like a scene in a movie – surreal!

      • Summer July 30, 2012 at 10:05 am #

        Looking back, it creeps me out even more than it did at the time. He started off as this seemingly perfect guy… and by the end of things his sociopathic tendencies started to appear. Thank goodness things ended before I saw the real him. Yikes.

    • Summer July 30, 2012 at 10:15 am #

      The Neil Diamond “Coming to America” makes the entire story about 1,000X more disturbing! I was recently at the Neil Diamond concert and a chill went down my spine as he played the song.
      You hit the nail on the head – These guys were all frat brothers. Frat brothers who grew up in wealthy families and attended a pricey private college. I’ve never been a fan of frat guys either. Even after college, many still remain in that douchebag mentality.
      I also wonder if there’s something in the water. Either that, or I’m a psycho magnet. I’m kinda going with the second option…
      Thanks for reading!

  3. Unconfirmed Bachelorette July 29, 2012 at 11:30 pm #

    I dated one guy seemingly as sick as this one. It grossed me out so badly, made me feel so disgustingly dirty, that I partook in a Sufi soul-cleansing ritual. But the flashbacks of that sick bastard are still with me.

  4. itsmindblowing July 30, 2012 at 9:13 am #

    I nominated you for an award!

    (…about three weeks ago. Sorry I only just told you, my internet’s been down).
    I’m leaving the blogosphere, so treat this as a leaving present; you deserve it!

  5. apocketfullofseams July 30, 2012 at 5:15 pm #

    OMG… whatta freak! Lucky escape girlfriend ;)
    With his ‘wannabe psycho’ ways, I wonder if he’ll be splashed over a newspaper anytime soon…

  6. daterofboys July 31, 2012 at 10:49 am #

    Eeek. Yeah, good thing he was too stupid to realize that doing these things and telling people about them are a bad idea…otherwise you might never know.

    • Summer August 1, 2012 at 12:09 pm #

      I think it’s even more disturbing that he had no qualms about telling me…. Like, he couldn’t see how fucked up it was.

  7. Michael T July 31, 2012 at 8:15 pm #

    Please consider moving out of cleveland.
    A change of local can do wonders for one’s self esteem.
    It’s ‘Summer’ all year in Southern California.
    Something about sunshine and vitamin D production increasing seritonin?
    Either way I hope your prospects improve.

    • Summer August 1, 2012 at 12:08 pm #

      I tried moving out of CLE and it was worse. I lived near West Palm Beach for awhile… found mostly rich cokeheads or psychopaths there too. I came back to CLE because everyone I love is here. While I’d LOVE, LOVE, LOVE to live in SoCal, I’m willing to endure the crazy men and horrible winters in CLE to be with my awesome friends & family. All the serotonin in the world can’t replace them unfortunately.

  8. Sue Anne July 31, 2012 at 9:09 pm #

    Just discovered your blog – I’m loving it! I’m a twenty something single and this makes me want to start my own blog haha. Can’t wait for your next post!

    • Summer August 1, 2012 at 12:03 pm #

      You should start one! When you do, post the link in a comment on my blog so I can read it. I’ve found that blogging can be insanely therapeutic when it comes to dealing with all the weird shit that accompanies dating.

  9. Bug August 5, 2012 at 10:30 am #

    Found this bloh via snarkysnatch and I love – you’re hilarious! I am actually in the middle of reading American Psycho right now, and I would run a f***ing mile from any guy that was into it like that – it’s a rather sinister sign that the dude did not ‘get it’.

    PS what is it with Cleveland and all the total douche males?!!

    • Summer August 8, 2012 at 1:09 am #

      Good question. I’m trying to figure that out myself. It may have something to do with all the raw sewage & drug needles in Lake Erie…. perhaps it seeps into their skin and affects the brain?
      Thanks for reading!!

  10. Charlie October 22, 2012 at 2:27 pm #

    I’m not sure what is more disturbing (assuming this story is even true), the guy with such low self esteem that would hire a prostitute to impress his friends or a thirty something single woman giving a disgusting human being the time of day knowing he hired a prostitute.

    You seem to degrade guys who wear hats or drive tractors, yet you associate with guys who “can afford” prostitutes to impress their friends? Where are your morals and values? Do you value men with successful careers who are handsome more than the honest good ‘ol boys who have dignity and self worth? No wonder why you are thirty something and single.

    • Summer October 22, 2012 at 4:46 pm #

      1. It’s pathetically true and we broke up afterwards.
      2. What’s wrong with wearing hats? I don’t mind if a man sports a hat. I like guys in ball caps.
      3. I don’t believe I’ve ever degraded anyone for driving a tractor. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that, but being a typical suburbanite, I don’t usually have much in common with good ol’ country boys.
      4. You are correct about my shitty taste in men. I’ve made some terrible choices – and that’s my own fault. I don’t value one type of person over the other.. there’s a lid for every pot. But, I have learned that I need to be more open when it comes to dating different types and giving men who don’t fit into my usual type a chance.

  11. Charlie October 23, 2012 at 5:20 pm #

    I was referring to your POF vs Match post where you said stuff like: “[POF] site is chock full of men with bad facial hair wearing flat-brimmed hats, driving four wheelers”.

    Broaden your horizon’s and maybe you’ll find the guy that makes you happy and giddy. I’m seeing so many 40+ single women with cats that have been single for over 10 years because they are refuse to nudge outside of their “ideal” man.

    It’s funny because I am single and 30 something and most of the women I attract are under 30. It’s tempting to date younger women but I feel I don’t have much in common and I don’t want kids. I’m sure most women under 30 will want kids someday.

    Not sure why but women my age and older are difficult because they are either cynical, searching for the Richard Gere character in Pretty Woman to come save them, or want a young boy toy till that rich CEO guy comes along.

    I often ask myself if I should settle for a younger woman or should I stay the course and hope to find a reasonable woman my own age? Seems we both have a dilemma.

    • Summer October 30, 2012 at 8:54 pm #

      You are correct. I probably do need to broaden my horizons a bit. I keep running into the same problems over & over again, that should tell me something.
      You shouldn’t settle for what you don’t want because you’ll never truly be happy. I’m sure there are plenty of reasonable women near you in their 30’s. It does become lots harder the older we get though, doesn’t it? Often, people are so set in their ways or come with too much baggage. It makes it difficult. Still, it’s better to wait for the right one to come along that miss the opportunity by being with someone who isn’t right for you. Who knows? Maybe you’ll meet a woman who is slightly younger but wants the same things out of life…

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