Woot. Woot. I landed myself another Cleveland crazy man.
A few days after my less-than-lovely fallout with Dinky Dick Danny, I found myself at dinner with a new guy. This new guy reinforced the importance of why one should always, always, always meet an online date in a very public location.
From his Match.com profile, this man seemed super normal. (Don’t they all?) 36-year-old attractive and financially well-off male. Indeed, he was attractive. Something felt way off about him. and gave me the creeps. Perhaps it was the fact that he was clearly lying to me about everything.
I was trying to make conversation, so I asked “So, you live in Westlake… where about?”
“In an apartment.” He answered.
“Oh really, me too! Which one is it? I wonder if we are in the same complex.”
“Oh… it’s by Crocker Park.” (There are tons of apartments by Crocker Park).
“Well, which complex?”
“It’s not an apartment… it’s uh, uh, condo.” He responded.
“Where is it? What’s the name?”
“I can’t remember. It’s by Crocker.”
I dropped it.
Later on, he mentioned that he went out in Westlake with his buddies the previous night. Just making conversation, I ask.. “Where do you guys usually hang out around here?”
“Bars.”
“Which ones?”
I could tell he was nervous as he clamored to formulate an answer. “Oh.. you know just some bars.”
I dropped it.
If that wasn’t bad enough, he didn’t know where Detroit Road was, or at least he didn’t know the name of it. (For any non-Clevelanders, Detroit Road is a HUGE road that runs from Cleveland through the west-side suburbs. It’s the main thoroughfare in Westlake, where he supposedly called home.)
Most of the date was spent with him rambling about how much money he made and how he would take me on tons of vacations, to the fanciest restaurants, yaddah, yaddah, yaddah. However, not once did he talk about any of his past vacations (for someone who claims to travel the world, you think he’d mention one or two), nor did he discuss any of his favorite restaurants (I asked…) besides Lola. And everyone knows Lola.
I don’t know what the deal was, but I left immediately after dinner. I haven’t returned his numerous calls, texts or emails since. He freaked me out.
Seriously? This guy is beyond creepy.
I couldn’t help but envision myself tied up and left to die in his basement.
I had a similar experience and I am still alive LOL… I didn’t even meet the guy (he stood me up) and then stalked me for a year. VERY UNSETTLING… message this jerk and tell him you will report him if he doesn’t stop.
I’m yet to be surprised by just how much those we crash into online fail to contribute any sort of reality for us to grab hold of when we initiate chemistry during a date. It seems that many hold theory that in order to “win” through “persistence” it’s important to inflate their existence while also neglecting the all important backstory that serves to find ones way through the lies and convoluted landscapes being painted for us. The more they seek to convert a fallacy into their own narcissistic need for validation, the deeper they drag us below as if caught in the undertow of deception and manipulation. Rather than honor who they are as a person, allowing for us to “see” them, they
Create an ideal image that is gift wrapped for us. yet, how do they know what it even is we desire? The truth is, it’s not about impressing us but in turn feeding an ego that is arrested by insecurity. I have come across my fair share of women who claim that “being a strong and assertive female scares or turns men off”.” the reason I say this is because my last date tried that very position with hopes of impressing me with job, bank account and home. Little did she know that my truth regarding a strong woman isn’t about what she has but rather who she demonstrates to be and what she mirrors in life. Because after our first date I chose to end it with a nice dinner I was called out as being insecure by her, in public I might add.
You were smart to let the continued
line of questioning go Summer. I too emotionally walked away from further exploration of a few obvious lies because it made me uncomfortable knowing how out of touch with her own reality and self she really was. It’s hard enough trying to move through people with genuine quality attached to their hearts without having to breath life into what we know to be junk.
We all have desires and wants… Perhaps once people seek what it is that they need in life rather than what fulfills an empty desire we might then be free to share a drink, laugh and contribute to one another dynamically over dinner and fluidly engage the energy that connects us all on a multitude of levels.
Or we could just continue to stumble over each other like fucking idiots – injecting our dating with a kind of sexual tango that only leaves us further confused and asking: “what base are we on now and when do I get to home plate?”
Online dating sites have made it too easy to get laid. Why invest time or effort into building a loving relationship when you can have sex with a different person every night? Why bother to be truthful or make an attempt to have a solid relationship? There’s no need to….. Online dating has turned would-be relationships into pump and dumps.
It’s a narcissists paradise – they can be anyone they want to be. Since most online dating relationships rarely last beyond 3-4 dates, they can continue lying to themselves and others without remorse or any repercussions. The cycle continues….
what a weirdo!! although, i thoroughly enjoyed reading this post about it, made me laugh. hopefully he stops bugging you ASAP though.
I think he’s confusing the term ‘persistent’ with ‘stalker’
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This sounds disturbing, and please stay safe.
That guy is whacked! There needs to be some kind of site like Yelp where you can share info about your online dates. We ladies need to stick together to protect ourselves from the psychos:)
I know.
There are more weirdos out there than I could ever imagine.
It goes both ways too. There is a guy in my office that does a lot of online dates. He has some stories about some women that are a little crazy.
I did some research and tried to find a site where you could write about your online dates. I found daterate.net It looks pretty cheesy though. And it sounds too much like date rape. They should have come up with a better name.
Have a great weekend!
I feel bad about this. Like I want to help by either finding you a nice single guy in my circle of friends or sending you a homeless kitten/puppy. Remember, you can house-train the latter!
But yeah he’s either desperately lonely or “it puts the lotion on it’s skin” level creepy.
Hahaa! I recently started this blog of mine to ramble about many things, but to mainly share some of my dating experiences, i have met weirdo after weirdo since I started online dating a year ago and some of them so strange, it would be criminal not to share it. I have still not deleted my account, because I’m convinced there is one normal person on there, there has to be… I mean, I’m on there right?!
Your blog was very comforting! It’s good to know that other people have these experiences too, though it is also a shame that it has to happen to you!
Good for you, for sticking to your savvy guns and I look forward to reading more of your work!
S
x
Yes – I dealt with the same thing with online dating. It was one nutcase after another. Steer clear of the free sites, those seem to be worse.
There are a few normal ones on there I’m sure. I’ve found a few nice guys….Just don’t give up!