Archive | May, 2012

Well, hello Cleveland summertime. I’ve missed you.

28 May

Since it’s summertime, I’ve been out and about constantly. Sadly, I’ve had almost zero free time to post about the lovely Cleveland dating scene.

What? Did you think I fell in love and ran out of material?! Quite the contrary – I have tons of dating hell stories because I’ve been on-the-go so much lately. Usually, if I’m not writing about Cleveland dating, I’m simply out doing research. When the weather heats up, so does my social & dating life. I can’t sit still or bear to be indoors when it’s sunny and warm. Aside from work writing, my personal writing takes a backseat in June, July & August. I will try my best to post, but I may be a bit MIA.

The past month has been full of dating ups & downs. Mostly because I reconnected with a former flame through Facebook. From (many) past experiences, all negative, you’d think I’d have learned by now that it’s never a good idea to rekindle “romance” with an ex-boyfriend. The same problems ALWAYS resurface. I’ve come to terms with the fact that the two of us are not working out (again). More on this to come.

I have so many juicy Cleveland dating tales to tell and such little time! I’ll try my best to update this dating blog throughout the summer, but if anything… I’ll have a killer stockpile of dating blog stories for the fall.

I’d love to write more tonight, but my weekend was spent between Columbus and Put-in-Bay. It was an insane couple of days…I need a holiday from this holiday weekend. I’m exhausted and fairly certain this weekend caused irreparable harm to my liver.

Ahh….. another Cleveland summer is underway.

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Facebook and Relationships – Don’t be a sucker

8 May

Facebook can work a number on your self-esteem. As I mentioned in a previous post, if you are over thirty and single, Facebook serves as a stark reminder that most of your peers are married (or at least in stable relationships). Since I’m a glutton for punishment, sometimes I visit my “friends” profiles and glance through their photo albums showcasing their blissful weddings, honeymoons, angelic-looking children and jovial family vacations. On Facebook, their picture-perfect lives appear to have been ripped straight from the fairy tale ending that I envisioned for myself. But are they?

happy family

Don’t believe the Facebook hype.

There’s a reason everyone adores Facebook. The social media network’s “create-your-own-adventure” platform lets us craft our past and present lives into something a little more palatable. When life throws us an unusually exciting day – we post an update. If we embark on a weekend trip – we “check-in” to all sorts of trendy locations. We carefully examine all photographs and hand-pick the flattering ones – while we discard the other ninety-five percent..

Facebook enables everyone to “live the dream” by accentuating the positive and burying everything else. Thanks to technology, widespread deception has never been easier. Deep down, we all crave the envy of our peers. Thanks to Facebook – now we can vigilantly fabricate our average lives into coveted superficial perfection. I know. I’ve done it.

I was in a toxic long-term relationship a few years ago. Back then, a quick look at my Facebook page could have fooled anyone into believing I was half of a healthy and happy couple. Profile visitors were inundated with our beaming faces in photographs, cute wall comments and status updates detailing our stupid “adventures.”

Happy couple? You’ve been duped.

With a little help from Facebook I concocted a remarkable portrait of a stable relationship and good life. At times, Facebook was powerful enough to temporarily trick me into believing the fantasy I built upon its pages. I liked checking out my Facebook page – it provided a much-needed escape from reality.

Facebook gave me the life I wanted. All the late nights I spent sobbing in the bathroom because my boyfriend had flown into another drunken, jealous rage? Didn’t exist in my Facebook life! His drinking problems? Masked and forgotten. The petty daily arguments and fights? Thanks to Facebook, those ugly details remained dormant. The problems were many, but they were hidden well behind our smiling Facebook photos.

The reality. What you will never see on Facebook.

Facebook has us living in a land of make-believe. So…. stop feeling the pressure to catch up to your settled-down peers based on their Facebook profiles. Sure, some couples might really have sickeningly perfect lives. But for every content couple, there’s another couple ready to kill each other.

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Online Dating Delights – Seeing your ex boyfriend on Match.com

6 May

Sometimes Match.com finds you match, who according to them is “Singled Out Just For You!” They highlight the profile on a special full page spread so you’re certain to take notice.

The other morning, Match.com “Singled Out” my ex Sam just for me. Thanks Match.com. Seriously, is there anything worse than seeing a recent ex on an online dating site? As if the Cleveland dating profiles I’m forced to dredge through aren’t upsetting enough!

I’m not going to lie – when he sprung up and filled my screen, my stomach plunged. His profile picture (which doesn’t illustrate the fact that he is severely balding at an alarming rate) was not what I expected to see as I innocuously sipped my morning coffee. I felt like throwing up.

Even better, Match.com won’t allow users to block a match from the “Singled Out” page. I was forced to search for his profile AGAIN to permanently remove him from potential matches. You know, because that was exactly how I wanted to spend a quiet Saturday morning.

Watch out Cleveland women – this deceitful two-faced Cleveland single man is on the prowl once more. dating a liar

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It’s a couples thing and I don’t understand

1 May

An old friend of mine just turned 30 over the weekend. By societal standards, she lives the “perfect life.” Caring husband, a two-year old son and a brand new house. On top of that, she easily fits into a size one despite popping out a kid. Her husband invited me to the surprise birthday party he was throwing for her. I said I’d try my best to make it. I didn’t.

Longest meal ever?

Almost all her close friends are married with kids of their own. I wanted to make an appearance at her little soiree, but my best male friend wasn’t feeling well enough to accompany me. I envisioned entering her home and sitting solo at a table full of married couples, most of whom I don’t know well or at all. Can you say uncomfortable?

I reached the conclusion that arriving alone to her party would be unbearably awkward. I chose to stay home with my dog instead. My pup had a lethal case of gas that night, still I found this preferable to enduring a mere hour in a room chock full of couples and screaming kids.

The distance between me and my married counterparts grows considerably with every passing year. I don’t want to hear their stories about the latest dinner recipe and changing diapers, just like they prefer not to listen to my tales of botched dinner dates and sub-par sex.

I’m fortunate that the bulk of my friends are single. This prevents me from feeling like the poster child for failed relationships. However, it only takes a brief glance at the “People You May Know” section of Facebook to bring me back to the reality that most of my high school graduating class is already married. It’s clear that I’m in the minority. Well, it is what it is. I always wonder how many of them are truly happy and which ones simply settled. It’s easy to fake a fairy tale via Facebook.

facebook marriage

Perhaps one day I’ll be happily hitched and humdrum dinner parties will be my fate. I welcome it when the time is right.

As of now, I don’t frequent parties where couples meet other couples for an early dinner, minimal drinking and birthday cake with kids. Instead, I go on dates with an assortment of men and sample all the latest restaurants. It’s not uncommon for me to stay out until 2 am drinking with friends and not wake up until noon the next day. When I shop, it’s for me and only me.  I’m free to take sporadic weekend trips whenever with whomever.  I don’t know which man will sleep in my bed next.  I rarely cook anything that doesn’t come frozen in a box. I don’t own a home. Essentially, at thirty-years-old I still have absolutely no idea where I’m going in life.

But you know what? At least I have options.

And I need to contact my married friend and invite her out for birthday drinks. I feel a little bad I wasn’t at her party.

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