Sex on the third date? Despite the crap I love to talk, I’m not a “sex on the third date” kind of girl. This was a tough concept for a new guy to grasp.
On our 3rd date, Matt invited himself up to my place because he had to use the bathroom. After relieving himself, he joined me on the couch to watch some rerun of The Office. We began making out and after a few minutes he suggested we move to my bedroom. I replied “It’s way too soon to hook up.” True, I’ve spent a total of six or seven hours with the guy. Not quite enough time for him to hop on top of me and start humping away.
Matt immediately pulled back. Then, he proceeded to fold his arms and pout silently like a five year old child that was denied a puppy. After a few uncomfortable minutes of silence he declared he had to leave. I wasn’t about to stop him. I’m far from a prude, but I also like to be aware of the man’s intentions before becoming intimate. Matt made his blatantly obvious.
A few minutes after his less than chivalrous exit, I received a text reading “I’m sorry but we aren’t a good match. Good luck with whatever you’re looking for.” Mind you, until this point our dates were going rather well. I enjoyed his company and it seemed like he enjoyed mine. I answer “Ok, well maybe next time you should find another 20-year-old who puts out right away. Or hire a prostitute.”
Ten minutes after he left, he called. I gave in and picked up. Mostly because I was curious how he could possibly defend his “If you won’t have sex with me, I’m outta here” stance. Here are some highlights from our conversation:
“Everyone has sex on the third date. Everyone does it. Just Google it.”
“Being exclusive comes after sex. But, I want to be exclusive with you.”
“I felt such a strong chemistry with you. I haven’t felt this way about someone in awhile.” Yeah, that’s why you just dumped me for not sleeping with you.
“Every long term relationship I had began with sex on the first date.”
Correct me if I’m wrong (or old-fashioned), but I like to believe if you genuinely like someone you’d be willing to wait a bit longer for sex to enter the picture. Who wants to do it with someone who isn’t comfortable anyhow? It’s creepy. There’s no set amount of time to wait, but both partners need to be willing and ready. Sex isn’t sexy under pressure and a skewed sense of obligation.
Nonetheless, I’m curious for some reader opinions….. Is sex on the third date expected? Is this the new norm?
Enlighten me please!!