Thirty and single on Valentine’s Day? What NOT to do

7 Feb

Single on Valentine’s Day? I’m not this year, but I still loathe the holiday. I’ve spent the bulk of my life being single on Valentine’s Day, so all those fucking cupids, teddy bears and sappy commercials make me cringe. My time as a single woman won’t let me forget how it feels to spend Valentine’s Day alone. Valentine’s Day is a holiday that serves as a slap in the face to nearly 50 percent of the U.S. population. That’s right – half of Americans are single, but the heavy marketing power of Valentine’s Day doesn’t want you to know. Nope – the goal of Valentine’s Day is to make you feel really, really shitty if you don’t have a significant other to spend it with. After all, you are not partaking in their marketing ploy. V-Day tricks you into feeling like a pathetic loser because you’re choosing to ride solo. Valentine’s Day is a mean mother fucker.

fuck valentines day i hate valentines day

Fuck Valentine's Day

You can’t ignore Valentine’s Day. It won’t let you. So, many articles offer tips on what to do if you’re single on Valentine’s Day. Like it’s the end of the world or something. These “helpful” tips will probably make you feel a whole lot shittier. Here are some really bad Valentine’s Day ideas “dating experts” think you could implement to combat the single on Valentine’s Day blues. Don’t do them.

1. Take yourself to the movies.
2. Turn up the music and dance around the house.
3. Stay on the couch and watch your favorite chick flicks.
4. Wear lingerie to bed just for you. (What is the point?)
5. Flirt with an old boyfriend on Facebook.
6. Think about what you want in your next relationship.
7. Light candles and take a long, soothing bath.
8. Dress to the nines and go to the grocery store. (This is my favorite!)
9. Redecorate your bedroom.
10. If you’re recently single, change your Facebook status to single. (Well, that sounds like a blast.)
11. Go to a sporting event alone and cheer.
12. Sleep on the “other” side of the bed.
13. Volunteer. (Well, maybe seeing folks at a soup kitchen will make you feel better about your own life)
14. Talk to couples and seek out the true meaning of Valentine’s Day.
15. Eat chocolate. (Then what?)
16. Plan to start therapy. (I can’t make this shit up!)

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8 Responses to “Thirty and single on Valentine’s Day? What NOT to do”

  1. Unconfirmed Bachelorette February 7, 2012 at 11:58 pm #

    14 is my favorite. What is the true meaning of VD? I always thought it funny that its acronym is the same as venereal disease.

    • Summer February 8, 2012 at 9:09 am #

      I found 14 in an article on Huffington Post. I had the urge to slap the writer in the picture. She even went as far to suggest you carry a video camera around to film these interviews with couples. Not creepy at all.

  2. Autumn Anderson February 8, 2012 at 12:09 am #

    Some of those things wouldn’t be too awful (I’m a sucker for a good bathtub and volunteering is always good), but I’m pretty sure I can keep my single self occupied like all us poor, unfortunate, single girls somehow manage to do every day of the week, haha. You’re right…Valentine’s Day is a mean motherfucker. It must be because the people in relationships are jealous of the 50% of us who are having fun every other day of the year.

  3. AmyPaints February 8, 2012 at 12:35 pm #

    Hello, kindred spirit. I’m single, 30, and in the Cleve. This list is the perfect example of people needing a reality check. Just because technology has allowed you a voice, doesn’t mean anyone wants to hear what you have to say. That being said, I don’t mind Valentine’s Day. I think my image of Valentine’s Day was built as a 1st grader and my decorated shoe box, long before I had felt the pains of a break-up or my drying up eggs. My mom always gave us a small gift before school and usually a new red, pink, or purple outfit. It was a great day. I think of it as a day to give presents, wear hearts, and eat sweets. I just think it is an excuse to make my sisters and parents cards. I understand how it could be depressing if your experience has been mostly romantic or lack of romance.

    Also, I realize it isn’t for everyone, but I only go to the grocery store looking hot. I’ve gotten major self-esteem boosts from that.

    • Summer February 8, 2012 at 10:00 pm #

      I can’t see Valentine’s Day and I ever being on friendly terms- it left me feeling burned one too many times. I could be happily married for twenty years and still dislike the day because I know the power it has (and shouldn’t) to make even the happiest of singles feel alone. You’re lucky to be able to conjure up happy memories. Valentine’s Day was fun when I was young, before the bitter and jaded side set in! I almost enjoyed it when I was teaching high school. Mostly because the kids would bring me cookies, candy and cupcakes all day. And it was cute to watch the boys try to ask out a crush.

      However, the plus side of Valentine’s Day is that it gives me an excuse to go out with my best friends and have a blast. I did that last year instead of spending V-Day with my boyfriend at the time – and had a blast! And it is a great excuse to fill up on chocolate and ice cream. A trip to Menchie’s for lunch will be in order :)
      Thanks for getting me to look at some of the pros of the holiday my fellow Clevelander!!!!

  4. DixieCJ February 8, 2012 at 11:52 pm #

    Sooo the person/people who wrote those suggestions are obviously either completely clueless or just assholes. The “real meaning” of Valentine’s Day? If you want to get technical, it was originally a Catholic holiday to honor two or three martyred “saints,” hence the original name of Saint Valentines’ Day, but Pope Paul VI had it deleted from the Roman Catholic Calendar in 1969, because nobody really knew why he was sainted in the first place!

    So the holiday that is celebrated today (like most American holidays) is a bastardization of a “holy day.” Christmas gets a fat man squeezing down the chimney, Easter gets a pink egg-laying rodent, St. Pat’s gets wasted, and Valentines day gets Ambiance an increase in sales. If you think of it that way, it’s not so depressing…unless you’re Catholic, then everything is depressing.

    My Gramma’s birthday is on the 14th, so it’s always a happy day in our family!

    • Summer February 9, 2012 at 2:44 pm #

      Clueless is more like it. I pulled these tips from a variety of different articles. There were some decent tips, but I picked out the ridiculous ones. The writers have probably not spent much time in their life as a single is my guess. It would be like me writing an article about how to plan a wedding. If you don’t know about a topic, don’t try to write about it!
      But like you said, it’s just another commercialized day set in motion for businesses to make a ton of money.
      And I hope your Grandma has a happy birthday!


  1. Yeah I Got Your Cupid Right Here! What I Won’t Be Doing For V-Day « snarkysnatch - February 13, 2012

    [...] won’t be doing anything from Misadventures of Dating in Cleveland’s list of things Not To Do On Valentine’s [...]

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