An honest eHarmony review – Is eHarmony a scam?

17 Jan

While doing my little review of online dating sites yesterday, I came across this guy’s blog article about how much eHarmony sucks.  He couldn’t have said it better when it comes to eHarmony.com and their fake/inactive matches. Only he had a better eHarmony experience than most because he luckily received a significant amount of matches. There were weeks eHarmony would only  send me like two or three “matches” and they would end up being inactive accounts. For what eHarmony costs, paying members deserve better than this.

Their shady business model is a shame because eHarmony.com could be a good concept if they weren’t so focused on obtaining new members at the expense of scamming their current members. Each one of eHarmony’s free communication weekends amounts to tons of inactive matches sent to paying members. There is no way to know how long the  eHarmony matches you recieved have been “dead.” It could be weeks or months, but most likely a good portion of your matches will never have been paying members in the first place. If you pay for eHarmony.com, the  joke is on you.

Anyhow, if you are considering trying eHarmony, read this eHarmony review first!

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24 Responses to “An honest eHarmony review – Is eHarmony a scam?”

  1. coupletastic January 18, 2012 at 5:32 pm #

    Ugh… I’m sorry that you had a bad experience with eHarmony. Just to give you a different perspective, I met my husband on eHarmony. We’ve been married for 3 years now, together for 5 years. He was the third person I met through the site. My husband had been on the site for a little while and was about to cancel his subscription when we met.

    So, you just never know….

    • Summer January 18, 2012 at 6:11 pm #

      I tried it a few years ago and had a positive experience. I don’t remember even getting one inactive profile then. This time around, I was receiving more inactive profiles than not. It’s a shame because it is a good concept. I’m thankful to be done with the online dating circus for now… it was interesting while it lasted.

    • laurie herbert May 17, 2013 at 8:10 pm #

      My complaint isn’t about finding a mate or not..it’s about ‘Auto Renew’ which is a nice way of saying ‘Visa Fraud’….

      • Dex December 19, 2013 at 12:27 pm #

        Can someone give me advice on the “auto renew” and if they have ever had success of refund, I have recently also had the total of £179 deducted from my account and upon telephoning eharmony they have no call centre qualified personnel with either no facility or indeed authority to advise regarding refund.

  2. Janice February 27, 2012 at 5:00 pm #

    I don’t think it is a scam. But I wouldn’t take what it advertises at face value either. The right guy / gal won’t miraculously pop up on your match the next day you sign up for any online dating site. As it is with any relationship, it takes time and work. I see eHarmony and other online dating sites as another venue in finding that special someone.

    • Summer February 28, 2012 at 4:57 pm #

      I’m a huge proponent of online dating. I honestly don’t think eHarm is a “scam.” I used the word in the title for search engine purposes. Of course Mr./Mrs. Right won’t automatically pop up. It takes lots of time, totally understood. My beef with eHarmony is solely centered around the fact that over 50 percent of the matches I was sent were not active/paying members. If they sent me real members (whether we are compatible or not) there would be no problem. It isn’t right to pay that much money for a service that continually sends you inactive profiles that you cannot communicate with. It’s like buying an expensive bottle of vodka, but when you go to drink it you realize that it’s smelly, undrinkable sewer water and of no use to you whatsoever.

      • Ge April 19, 2012 at 1:54 pm #

        That certainly sounds like a scam to me!

        Let me tell you about Match.com. I joined about 5 days ago and quickly found that most of my “winks” were coming from scammers. I was very disappointed when I found out, because I had found several very interesting prospects, all of whom turned out to be scammers. Now I can spot most of them right away, based on their profiles. But Match.com claims to have 100 scam-detecting employees, but they miss the vast majority of these easily-spotted scammers, so I don’t believe they actually have that many detectives. I’m thinking of demanding a refund and trying e-harmony.

  3. Steve September 8, 2012 at 10:10 am #

    My experience with eHarmoney is pretty bad. The site may start you off with quite a few matches, but the numbers dwindled dramatically after one month. After two months, I was receiving less than 10 matches per week. That’s quite expensive considered the premiums that they are charging. eHarmoney advertised heavily that they have some kind of special system that will match you to someone that you are compatible. However, that 80% of the matches that they sent to me don’t have photos. On some occasions, the accounts were already closed.

    The part that I am really dissatisfied is eHarmoney’s automatic membership renewal setting. Without any notification, eHarmoney will just renew your subscription. When I called eHarmoney, they told me that the payment cannot be fully refunded and I was “fully informed” when I joined many months ago. The best that they can do is to change my subscription to 1-month. If you are using eHarmony now and don’t want to renew, make sure that you cancel the default automatic renewal setting right the way.

    • Summer September 10, 2012 at 9:43 am #

      They don’t have photos because they were most likely inactive accounts or members who have never paid. More than half the matches I received were from men who filled out a profile one day, but never signed up/paid. Some probably hadn’t visited the site in well over a year! I would go days and days without a single match.. and when I finally received a few, they were all inactive. Talk about a waste.

  4. Jacy September 14, 2012 at 8:46 pm #

    I think eharmony is a total waste of time and money. Unfortunately, I succumbed to the ads and tried it again. 3 months later, I still haven’t gotten any decent matches. There is no one is my area…very few in my state. The ones I have gotten are on the opposite side of the country. Very few people when you reach my age (58) are willing to relocate when they have an established job/business/family so most don’t even respond when they see how far away you are. When I try to narrow the search to my state or within 300 miles, I get nothing. I agree; it’s a waste!

  5. JB Borkowski October 4, 2012 at 3:12 am #

    e-Harmony is a bad joke. I was active in 2008, I did a free weekend in 2011. In Oct 2011 I am a paid member and most of my matches have 2008, 2009 and 2011 on them. Their software is bizarre and very unstable. They have phoney reviews of their site all over the web. I agree it is a scam.

    • JB Borkowski October 4, 2012 at 3:14 am #

      It should read “in Oct 2012…” I am angry and typed a bit too fast

  6. Graham January 3, 2013 at 4:34 am #

    I’ve joined eharmony as I’d been on match.com I must admit I’m very dubious about it. I like the idea, however I don’t like the price they want you to pay. Paying nearly £50 just for a month is ridiculous. Seems like you have to be well off to use the site, either that or just desparate, something that they seem to be relying on. I’m neither so although I have people waiting to hear from me I won’t be paying to get on and get in touch and after reading whats been put on here I’m glad I won’t be.

  7. Steven G January 8, 2013 at 11:42 am #

    I was a member of eHarmony a couple years ago. I had enough of it as it was too expensive for the almost non-existent matches in my area. Who is going to drive over 300 miles one-way to have a half hour date with someone based on a chance they may be my match? I canceled my paid membership.

    After a couple years or so I forgot how this service worked and, thus, gave their free weekend a try.

    Their “Free Communication Weekend” offer is a huge deception. They get you to commit your time signing up and then the only communication that is possible is to send childish, per-determined questions from a list to a person that you have absolutely no idea what they look like!

    This is not “free”. You have to give more of your time just to send childish messages to a person that may no longer be interested in their service. Worse yet, there is no way of knowing who is a paying customer. To unlock the features so both can communicate back and forth and know what the person looks like both have to be a paying customer!

    eHarmony would do well by informing those coming to their “Free Communication Weekend” what exactly is free. A comparison chart would do this. However, I believe most would run backwards to get away from their time-consuming process if they knew what they actually get for “free”.

    eHarmony is leaving a bad taste in a lot of people’s mouth over this scam. There are so many free dating services available now that this “bait & hook” method could be the ruin of what could have been a good Internet service.

    Date Hookup, Plenty of Fish, Cupid and eVow are just a few free dating sites that are much better than eHarmony’s paid membership. Plenty of Fish is chipping away at what is free as they now charge for full access to what was completely free. The free sites also show how long it has been since their members last logged on so you know if you are looking at a ghost from the past or a person seeking someone. All eHarmony cares about is parting you with your money on a monthly basis.

    • Summer January 22, 2013 at 7:15 pm #

      They use the ‘free communication weekend’ to gather more inactive profiles. Then they send the inactive profiles to the paying members as if they’re actual matches. It’s just a ploy to convince people to fill out profiles.

  8. Ana Cacho April 3, 2013 at 8:38 pm #

    In my experience eharmony has many members who are inactive or sent many memebers who live very far away.What

  9. Ana Cacho April 3, 2013 at 8:41 pm #

    I dont really liked eharmony.Many of the matches are out of town and also non active.Takes a long time to amswer all the questions and I can see why guys get frustrated.I would prefer a site who I can chat and pick my own matches intead of them picking for me.I did not enjoy the experience in my opinion is not worth it the money!

    • laurie herbert May 17, 2013 at 7:59 pm #

      Auto renewal is just a way to rip people off. If I sign up for three months, then obviousy I want three months, not 6 months. Legitimate companies don’t practice sneaky business like eHarmony does.

    • Kris June 15, 2013 at 12:41 am #

      I’m just about ready to pull the plug on eHarmony. I wouldn’t even try it when they had that old geezer (the founder, I believe – Dr. Clark?) doing the commercials – ewww! I’ve now been on there a few months. I met one guy in person and he was THE MOST COMPATIBLE cheater I’ve ever met in my life – ha! He had money and just wanted not to get busted by having his mug up on the free sites. Anyway, I agree about the distance of some of these “matches.” LAX to SFO for a weekend is one thing; I’m not flying to BumF&ck Iowa to check out some guy “just in case.” The “What If” feature is ALMOST worth it for the comedy factor, but not quite. One “What If This Is Your Perfect Match” was a guy slumped over in his recliner with a beer on the end-table and an ashtray that hadn’t been emptied for about a month. I thought “Dear God, if this is my Perfect Match, someone please just put me out of my misery NOW!” But it’s been a great story to tell – lots of mileage out of that one. Sad thing was he had the cutest dog in his lap. Poor little thing’s going to die of emphysema! :(

      • underwaterrr August 16, 2013 at 3:33 pm #

        LOL. I have seen quite a few hilariously bad profiles that I actually took pictures of with my phone to send to my friends for laughs.

      • Summer December 9, 2013 at 7:47 pm #

        I do the same! Some are too good to forget.

  10. kaye June 16, 2013 at 10:59 pm #

    I am beginning to wonder about this site myself. All I know is that I won’t be back. free weekend or not.

  11. underwaterrr August 16, 2013 at 3:28 pm #

    Now that I have been on EH on and off for nearly a (gulp!) year… I can add my review.

    I don’t know WTF is behind their matchmaking algorithm. Because honestly, I have never been matched with so many incompatible people. Often, the men I was matched with had superficial things in common (i.e. working out often, same sports) but I was led to believe that temperament and personality are a huge factor in the matchmaking system.

    I was matched with:
    1. A man with superficial interested in common, but severe Narcissistic Personality Disorder, and who I unfortunately dated long distance for a few months. The plus side of that one is that I learned all about NPD and how to avoid these dysfunctional freaks in the future.
    2. Lots of men who identified themselves as Very Conservative, though I had told EH not to match me with anyone who identified himself as such
    3. Lots of overweight men even though this is also a big no-go for me (it’s not superficial, I am just very active and health conscious), and had been specified in my settings
    4. Lots of religious guys despite my setting as Spiritual But Not Religious and specially identifying myself as agnostic in my profile.

    Once I set my membership to cancel, EH started barraging me with short men who were outside of my height range.
    That said, I do live in a rather horrible location for finding educated men who fit my personality and interests. So while EH sucks, maybe my luck will be better if I can move out of this area.

    • martina December 29, 2013 at 7:13 pm #

      Found my guy on Match. Met some nice men.

      EHarmony was just frustrating. A few ok matches but too any inactive non paying accounts. No way if distinguishing.

      Perhaps it’s regional because its all about the customer pool. match and OKCupid popular here…EHarmony so so.

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