We’ve all done it. We are all guilty of dating someone we knew damn well was a player. We ignored the multiple warnings from friends. We ignored the signs. And we’ve all thought at one point that we’d be the one to change it. We think things like:
“He loves me. He probably just didn’t love those other girls.”
“Once he sees how fucking awesome I am, he’ll never stray.”
“He’s matured since then.”
Without a doubt, a player may love you. They may remain faithful for a while. But can you ever 100 percent trust someone who you know was a cheater in the past? If you said yes… you’re dead wrong. The old saying “once a cheater, always a cheater” isn’t simply some old adage. It’s a fact.
Players, Cheaters.. whatever you want to call them, worship two things – attention and the chase. Even if they love you, their need for attention will eventually win.
If a man (or woman) confides in you that they have cheated in the past – run. Do not get further involved and don’t even consider marriage. You’ll only wind up with a messy divorce on your hands and many wasted years.
Many years ago, I fell in love with someone who was a notorious player. Everyone warned me. I chose to ignore them and ultimately got burned. I don’t doubt he cared about me, but he cared about himself and his ego more. What is he doing now? The same damn thing. I received a text from my boss recently telling me he was at a bar in West Lakewood (Harry Buffalo.. who even goes there?) and my ex was sitting next to him. How my boss was able to identify my ex from 5 years ago is a story in itself… for another time.
Here’s how a conversation between my ex and his friend went:
Ex: What should we do tonight?
Ex’s friend: We could stay here. It’s ladies night which means its all drunk 21-year-old girls in here tonight.
Ex: Great idea lets go home and get dressed in better clothes. I need to pick up my camera so I can take pictures of some of the chicks in slutty outfits.
No joke. It reminds me of Wedding Crashers or Night at the Roxbury. He’s 34 years old and still acting like he’s 21. I’m surprised I don’t see him out more often, but then I remember that he obviously frequents much different establishments than I do. I’m grateful for that.
A small part of me will always love his cheating ass. However, clearly he was not the man who would’ve made me happy. Miserable was more like it. Had he been slicker with hiding his ways and had I been born dumber, I’d most likely one day have a blog entitled fortysomethingsingle.com (or maybe divorcedthirtysomethingsingle.com because that’s what would’ve happened. Because when it comes to a player… you can play the game, but you’ll never win. My dad always reminds me that “leopards don’t change their spots.” Cheesy, but true.