Archive | November, 2011

Two more good dates… Oh my!

26 Nov

My folks love to meddle in my dating life. They mean well.

For once, I’m thankful for their annoying interventions. I went out with “Sam” a few weeks back and the date was amazing. The two of us instantly clicked.

My parents bothered me for two weeks inquiring “When are you going to see Sam again?”

We went to a Browns game last Sunday. It was one of the most fun dates I’ve ever had. Although, tailgating with Christmas Ale wasn’t the best idea. This guy is like my other half. He’s my perfect type – tall, skinny and funny. He’s witty as hell, which is a huge turn on.

I can’t find anything wrong with him. He seems almost too good to be true. If you asked me to make a list of what I’m looking for in a guy – Sam’s it.

We went out last night to Wine Bar and had a nice romantic dinner. What a great night! I have a better time with him than anyone else I’ve dated so far this year. And I’ve dated a ton of people over the past 9 months.

It’s only been 3 dates, but I’m kind of hooked on him already.

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Facing an ex

11 Nov

I have to pay a visit to my ex’s house to pick up some of Sadie’s (my dog) old belongings for the new puppy. I made the mistake of getting back with Charlie for a two week period last summer. After the first week, I remembered why I broke up with him in the first place and ended it the following week. However, I did get a week of really good make-up sex out of the ordeal. I didn’t mean to leave my things there, it’s just how it happened.

Anyways, I figured he threw out the dog crate and bedding by now, but he texted me the other day asking if I’d like to come get it. The first time we broke up, he threw my clothes and other random items in the dumpster. Since I’m sharing this yorkie-poo (Emma) rescue dog with my folks, I could really use the crate for when the dog is at my place. I’d hate to see it thrown out.

I’m not looking forward to picking this stuff up. First he mentioned he’d take me out for some drinks if I stopped by. I don’t want to have drinks with him. I don’t want to have an uncomfortable chat with him. I’d like to pick my belongings up and get the hell out. I was with Charlie for 8 months or so, so of course I care about the guy. I just can’t stand to be with the guy. Therefore, it makes for an unpleasant evening.

I hate dealing with exes. I really do. I prefer to have no contact with them, but if I want my things I guess I must. Perhaps I’ll bring my best friend in order to avoid having any form of “talk” with him.

Hot new neighbor offered to go with me. While Charlie isn’t my favorite person, I wouldn’t want to hurt his feelings by letting him think I brought some new guy I’m dating. That’s just mean.

This whole debacle will undoubtedly leave me feeling bad. It’s never fun to face an ex whether you’re the dumper or the dumpee.

Yawn.. A good date makes for a boring read

3 Nov

Actually had a good date last night. I’ve been easing off the dating scene lately because sometimes it can be a bit much. However, I met this guy Sam while I was out and about one night – so I figured why the hell not. I’m a sucker for super tall men, which he is. I’m only 5’3, but I love dating men who are 6’3 and over. It’s not a requirement, but I’m usually instantly attracted to a very tall man. The higher they stand, the more I seem to want them.

Sam is perfect on paper as well as in person. He fits perfectly into my “type,” which is a little on the yuppie side, witty, successful, smart, attractive… No complaints yet. He exudes confidence as well which I didn’t realize was on my “must-have” list, but after my date with Please Like Me Lawyer guy the other night, it is.

We went to one of my favorite restaurants, Deagan’s. If you live in the Cleveland area and you haven’t eaten at Deagan’s – you must go. The food is to die for.

See? Good dates aren’t nearly as fun to write about. Sigh.

You can’t play a player

3 Nov

We’ve all done it. We are all guilty of dating someone we knew damn well was a player. We ignored the multiple warnings from friends. We ignored the signs. And we’ve all thought at one point that we’d be the one to change it. We think things like:

“He loves me. He probably just didn’t love those other girls.”

“Once he sees how fucking awesome I am, he’ll never stray.”

“He’s matured since then.”

Without a doubt, a player may love you. They may remain faithful for a while. But can you ever 100 percent trust someone who you know was a cheater in the past? If you said yes… you’re dead wrong. The old saying “once a cheater, always a cheater” isn’t simply some old adage. It’s a fact.

Players, Cheaters.. whatever you want to call them, worship two things – attention and the chase. Even if they love you, their need for attention will eventually win.

If a man (or woman) confides in you that they have cheated in the past – run. Do not get further involved and don’t even consider marriage. You’ll only wind up with a messy divorce on your hands and many wasted years.

Many years ago, I fell in love with someone who was a notorious player. Everyone warned me. I chose to ignore them and ultimately got burned. I don’t doubt he cared about me, but he cared about himself and his ego more. What is he doing now? The same damn thing. I received a text from my boss recently telling me he was at a bar in West Lakewood (Harry Buffalo.. who even goes there?) and my ex was sitting next to him. How my boss was able to identify my ex from 5 years ago is a story in itself… for another time.

Here’s how a conversation between my ex and his friend went:

Ex: What should we do tonight?

Ex’s friend: We could stay here. It’s ladies night which means its all drunk 21-year-old girls in here tonight.

Ex: Great idea lets go home and get dressed in better clothes. I need to pick up my camera so I can take pictures of some of the chicks in slutty outfits.

No joke. It reminds me of Wedding Crashers or Night at the Roxbury. He’s 34 years old and still acting like he’s 21. I’m surprised I don’t see him out more often, but then I remember that he obviously frequents much different establishments than I do. I’m grateful for that.

A small part of me will always love his cheating ass. However, clearly he was not the man who would’ve made me happy. Miserable was more like it. Had he been slicker with hiding his ways and had I been born dumber, I’d most likely one day have a blog entitled fortysomethingsingle.com (or maybe divorcedthirtysomethingsingle.com because that’s what would’ve happened. Because when it comes to a player… you can play the game, but you’ll never win. My dad always reminds me that “leopards don’t change their spots.” Cheesy, but true.

Have you tried the latest Lean Cuisine? I probably have…

1 Nov

I long for the days when gaining five pounds won’t cause a major meltdown. As if prowling for men isn’t exhausting enough, another thing us single women must deal with is a life of habitual dieting. It’s harder once I hit 30… the men in my life don’t hang out very long, but the excess pounds sure like to.

I see plenty of married couples packing on a few extra pounds and it’s clearly not the end of the world. However, since I’m still in the stage of life that relies on my ability to attract the opposite sex – I view every additional pound as another nail in my coffin of singledom. It’s bad enough that new gray hairs seem to sprout daily and those gross crows feet around my eyes are becoming more defined – the dieting tactics I relied on in my 20’s don’t work quite like they did in the past.There’s the hassle of attracting someone in the first place. After you’ve been dating, there’s anxiety of your new mate seeing you naked, in a bikini, etc. And if you’re like me, this cycle keeps repeating itself before you ever reach the “I’m comfortable” stage.

Becoming stranded in this cycle is EXHAUSTING. I hit the gym almost every day. I leave Giant Eagle with a pathetic looking shopping cart full of Special K and some random frozen dinners under 300 calories because none of the “healthy” food is enticing or takes too much effort to prepare. And you know what, Lean Cuisines taste like shit. All diet food tastes like shit. I’m more of a bacon cheeseburger kinda girl than a salad and water kinda girl.  Since I dine out most of the time, it’s not uncommon for me to go all day without eating so I can enjoy my meal, have a few drinks, and still keep a reasonable calorie intake for the day.

My point is – after doing this for the past ten years, I’m spent. I don’t want to be fat, but I’d like to relax for once.  Between dating, counting calories and the gym – the single life is a full time job. It’d be nice to finally quit counting cals or at least scale back. This is the reality of being thirty and single. Glamorous, isn’t it?

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