Archive | October, 2011

Grow a pair

30 Oct

I had a 3rd date with this guy who is a criminal attorney. Now, one would think someone who works in this field would exude confidence, right? It should come with the job….. Plus, attending a top-tier law school and having a job that generally WILL attract women should boost self-esteem.

Not this guy.

He took me to Greenhouse Tavern, which is one of my favorites and I was optimistic that it would be a nice Friday night. I was wrong.

Halfway through a bottle of wine and a few bites into my steak this guy goes “So, I have to ask you something.” I just had a feeling I wouldn’t like this. He continues… “Now let me know if I’m wrong, but I have a feeling you’re on the fence about us. Like you’re not sure if you like me.”

I choked. It’s the 3rd date. This is what dating is for – to determine if you are compatible with someone. True, I am not sure if it would work with this guy. From date one, his apparent lack of confidence was the sole reason why.  He’s tall, cute, successful… but he’s a guy I could walk all over. I don’t want a guy I can walk all over because it bores me. He wasn’t proving me wrong.

Although it made the remainder of the dinner rather awkward, I replied with an honest “I’m still getting to know you and trying to see if we are compatible.”

Then he goes into a “Most women want to like me, but in reality they are just being nice and really don’t” tirade.  I kept trying to change the subject, but he kept going with his “No one wants a nice guy” spiel.  It ruined dinner. I didn’t know what he expected me to say, so I didn’t say much. I just sat there and awkwardly nodded. Eventually, I managed to get on another topic. Yeesh.

Afterward we stopped at the bar next door for a nightcap. Once again, he began asking me if I thought I liked him or not. If I wasn’t sure, why wasn’t I sure….  I was highly agitated at this point. Finally I couldn’t take it anymore so I responded… “Do you want to know why? You have zero confidence. I don’t understand how you even perform your job with such low self-esteem.” I went on to explain how I’m a very brash, animated kind of person and I need someone who can keep up with me. Lacking confidence isn’t going to work. I don’t want to be with a push-over.

The conversation went on for a bit longer, and then finally I became so frustrated that I bluntly told him to “Grow a pair.” I didn’t even care anymore – his constant need for affirmation was so unattractive.

He keeps texting me. I don’t think we’ll be going out again.

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24 Oct


Online Dating Joy

15 Oct

Back to the hell that is Cleveland online dating.

I discovered that I have a week left in my prepaid eHarmony subscription. I’m not a fan of eHarmony and their inactive matches, but I figured I may as well reactivate for the final week and give it a look.
A pretty attractive guy with a shirtless profile picture contacts me with the standard intro questions. Despite my rule about not corresponding with attention-craving topless photo men, I responded.

For the lucky ones who have never resorted to  online dating with eHarmony, I’ll give you a rundown. They have this questionnaire process that’s supposed to help you determine if you are a match before you trouble yourself with writing an email. It’s actually a good idea and much less time consuming. The first questions are multiple choice, the second round consists of listing your “must haves and can’t stands” and the third round has questions requiring longer answers. After the third round – you’re on your own with the email.

I was in the third round of long-answer questions with no-shirt guy. The question I asked was this: Describe an interest you have that you would truly hope your partner could share with you.

Standard responses to this query are as followed:
“Traveling is my passion and I hope to find someone special to enjoy it with.”
“I love to cook and try new food. It’s great if my partner enjoys chowing down.”
“I love playing sports and staying active.”

Right answer.

This guys response:
“I’ve always wanted to have children.”

ugly baby

It's a baby. It will make me fat and tired. WRONG ANSWER.

Dude, that is not what eHarmony had in mind! Be normal and discuss your love of sports or movies.

Red flag. Red flag.

Dating 101 – keep it light at first. Your longing for kids shouldn’t even be discussed within the first few dates, let alone before you’ve typed twenty words to me.
Okay. Next….


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